Wednesday, April 23, 2014

"Prophecy Girl" - The Great Buffy Rewatch of 2014

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

Guys! So much has happened on this first season! We were introduced to Buffy and her witty ways. We met the Scoobies. We got to know Angel. 

We fought vampires and bugs and all things evil. And who's been around waiting for his chance to strike? FRUIT PUNCH MOUTH.

Let's check in with the gang in the season finale.

Xander opens this episode practicing his "big speech" for Buffy with Willow. It's so heartbreaking that Willow loves him so much and has to watch him love Buffy. But she's so supportive of him too! We've all been there... am I right, ladies?

I also love that Cordelia is then seen making out in a steamy car with a guy while Buffy kills things 20 feet away. Is that really how high school was for some people? I mean, do cars actually steam up that bad? Oh god, I'm saying so much about my own HS experience with that question, aren't I? Shit.

Uh oh. We're getting right to the title of this episode super early. Giles is reading the prophecy about the Master (aka fruit punch mouth) as Sunnydale erupts in an earthquake. Btw, do you remember that an earth quake is the reason the master got stuck in this predicament in the first place? I do!  But anyway, I wonder what Giles just learned about the slayer. Hmm.

We're back on school grounds the next day where Xander is going to work up the nerve to ask Buffy to the Spring dance! Could this be a turning point in their relationship? Could they start dating? Is that where this is heading?

Of course not, guys. This is BUFFY SUMMERS. 

And Xander took it poorly enough to insult her taste in the undead. Which, I mean, is pretty telling for her future romances.

Okay, Miss Calendar just showed up talking about water turning to blood and other crazy shit. I LOVE that she's so just....down with this creepy shit. She's another example of badass female characters from Joss Whedon!

Speaking of which, Willow just turned down the consolation date with Xander. Because she's too good to be someone's second choice. LOVE.

After a run in with blood pouring out of the sink, Buffy rushes to the Library to discuss this development with Giles where she runs into him chatting with Angel about the prophecy. The prophecy that says she's going to face the master and die.

She's 16 and she's faced with her own mortality. And she's so vulnerable but strong. She's crying and asking questions and getting angry. She's confronting Giles and Angel and she's showing that she doesn't want to die. This is seriously an amazing performance from SMG. I fucking love it. This is like, where you really fall in love with this character and this series. Before this it was flirtation, but now it's real. I'm weird.

Okay, Buffy is at home now, listening to sad music and staring at photos of her life and crying. She begs her mom to take her away, but ya know, her mom thinks this is just about boys and not about death. But she did get her the most gorgeous dress that Buffy's been wanting - so that's something. A beautiful, white death shroud.

Now there's been a murder of the boys in the AV Club - Willow's friends. And Buffy takes time out of her own shit and baggage to go check on her best friend. To make sure that she's okay after seeing all of this carnage. Willow asks her what they're going to do and you can just see Buffy making up her mind about staying and fighting the Master. She's not going to just let her friends (and the world down). 

Apparently this is a big sappy love letter from my to Buffy. Whatever.

She just entered the library to tell Giles of her plan and she's wearing this beautiful white dress with a black leather jacket. I fucking love it. She knocks Giles out so he won't follow her and arms herself with a simple crossbow to fight this big bad.

And then the anointed is outside waiting for her. He is the most annoying little shit of a character ever. There's seriously no reason for this kid other than to lead Buffy to the Master's lair. 

The Scoobies are gathered in the library to talk about this whole Buffy going off to her death thing and prepare for the apocalypse. Of course, Xander thinks he's strong and tough so he goes after Buffy and the Master (with a pit stop to pick up Angel on the way). I love his loyalty though - he's willing to admit he needs help from his least favorite vampy guy to save Buffy.

We're also learning about the Hell Mouth and making guesses as to where it's physically located. And by we I mean the other Scoobies because I already know where it is. They think it's at the Bronze! Better get over there!

Meanwhile, in a sewer somewhere, Buffy is finally face to face with the Master and she is ready with one liners. This fight starts with a lot of over confidence from the Master and chats about being a lamb. In this scenario, Buffy is the lamb. Idiot. 

Oh hey, all of the vampires in Sunnydale are now congregating around the school because - SURPRISE! - the hell mouth is at the high school.

Back to Buffy. The Master is being creepy and telling Buffy what the prophecy really means. It's sort of like Harry Potter - she has to die so he can be free. And with that. Buffy just fucking died. The Master drank her blood and dropped her face first in a pool of water.

Series over. Buffy #2 will be back next Season.

Just kidding! She's dead, but only sort of! She just drowned! She can be revived! Man, the Master is an idiot for not snapping her neck. Xander is finally proving useful as more than just a comedic counterpart - he's the only one who can save Buffy. Because duh - Angel is a Vampire with no breath. Xander to the rescue!! Hooray!! Buffy's back!

Omg! the vampires are all coming to the library and the Scoobies haven't noticed that there's a weird viney, planty monster coming through the fucking floor.

Thank God Buffy is alive and ready to kill some bitches. Because if there's one thing I learned from this show, it's that death changes you and makes you stronger. And in this case, a little psychic, because Buffy knows exactly where the Master went and is heading up to the roof to take care of business.

Btw, the hell mouth is a mouth and it has TEETH. And looks like Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors.

Back to Buffy and the Master. He still has this weird telekinetic power thing going on but she has the power of observation. She just told him he has fruit punch mouth. So that's where that nick name came from in all these posts guys. 

"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty."

She's so resourceful though. She just flipped him through a window to be impaled on a spike and end the apocalypse. Like, he didn't just dust, he made the world change. This school must have awesome insurance to be able to cover hell mouth damage.

And with that, the first season is over! Wherever will we go in season 2 and beyond? You'll just have to tune in next time to find out! :)


  1. Woo! Can't wait for the appearance of "Ken-drah, the Vampiere Slay-ah."

    1. I'm pretty sure the actress that plays her is a vampire. She's ageless!


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